It stands to reason that if two people of different religions can fall in love and marry, that couple may face the possibility of raising kids in an interfaith household. A married interfaith couple is made up of two adults who can draw their own conclusions about belief and decide how much or how little their faith factors into their life and relationships. What about kids? What special considerations are there for couples of different religions who have or will have youngsters?
Examine Your Practices
Recognize that your faith walk will look different when kids are in the picture. You might be fine attending services solo at your church while your partner attends the synagogue. Silent graces before shared meals are easily offered, but what will you model for little ones who are watching your every move? It’s important to have open and honest conversations about what you want for your family both individually and as a couple. Will you adhere to customs from both beliefs? Is that possible? Some religious practices such as christenings and circumcision take place very early in a child’s life.
Embrace the Differences
Some may feel that raising kids in accordance with different faiths may prove detrimental to the family. Successfully raising kids in an interfaith household teaches children early that there are many worldviews and beliefs out there that are worth considering. It’s an opportunity for little ones to think carefully and critically about the world and their place in it. Your children will be aware of the reality that faith systems are very personal, and it is up to each of us to decide which path to take in life.
Focusing on What Matters
Many faiths come with traditions that are part of the fabric of who we are. It is important to distinguish between customs and actual religious beliefs, especially when there is a family to consider. Do you really want your children to be baptized according to a specific religious practice? Perhaps you’re nostalgic about the amazing post-baptism meals you enjoyed growing up. What really matters when it comes to your faith walk? Is it the tenets or the traditions? Even if it is the customs that you want to pass along, don’t lose sight of the essential things.
Taking an Interfaith Approach
Don’t feel pressured to take your kids to multiple houses of worship every week. Your family’s spiritual life shouldn’t be a game of religious buzzword bingo where you collect points for each practice you complete. Consider looking for interfaith organizations to help your children understand the uniqueness of your family and your approach to faith. Ideally, you’ll want to find a place that’s a good fit for the entire family, including your spouse. You may have to explore multiple options before you find something that works for all of you.
Alternating Practices
No two families will be the same when it comes to what works in a multifaith household. Depending on your family, rotating between church attendance and other religious practices may be preferable. You and your spouse should be careful, especially since young kids may be confused by switching. On the other hand, this alternation provides chances for the two of you to speak candidly about your beliefs and how they’ve shaped you.
Being the Light
At the end of the day, your children will look to you and your spouse for guidance. You have a responsibility to empower them and equip them to be good people. Being a source of help, understanding, and love should be the goal, irrespective of your religious beliefs. Relationships are far more important than rules.
It’s not impossible for a couple of different faiths to spend the rest of their lives together. Similarly, raising children in an interfaith household is also possible. When there’s love, honesty, open-mindedness, and communication, raising youngsters to be good people moves from possible to probable.