There’s an old song with a lyric that says, “I can’t help falling in love with you.” That statement on its own is one of the most wonderful and fascinating things about relationships. Whether you believe opposites attract or not, there’s the possibility of falling in love with someone from a radically different background, including socioeconomic, racial, political and even religious experience. Different viewpoints will be part of any couple’s experience, but being with someone of a different faith presents its own challenges and considerations. Ponder these tips if you’re attracted to, dating, or marrying a partner with different religious beliefs.
Work Out Your Own Relationship
While our faith provides principles that guide us and ground us, remember that you and the person you’re with are the only ones responsible for your relationship. You get to decide what works for you as individuals and as a couple. While a lot of people from your religious communities may have opinions about who you should date or marry, it’s your prerogative and your life to live. Prioritize your partner and filter out the external noise.
Build a Lasting Union With Respect
While love should be the main component of any romantic relationship, mutual respect should also be part of the foundation. Showing respect for your significant other’s faith is key. Recognize that the two of you won’t agree on everything and that’s okay. You can’t expect him, her, or they to see it your way all the time. Don’t expect them to change religions on your account. Would you automatically do the same for your partner? If you find that a difference in faith is a deal breaker, being respectful means finding a peaceful way of breaking up.
Be Open and Willing To Learn
While your faiths may not be the same, your sense of spirituality may be aligned. Certain spiritual truths such as the Golden Rule and reaping what you sow transcend religions and creeds. Some rituals, such as prayer, are universal and can look like different things to different adherents. Openly discussing the similarities and contrasts between your religious outlooks may affirm and enhance your spiritual journeys. You and your significant other have a love to share, a life to live together, and a lot to learn. There is wisdom to be gained from various viewpoints. Be open and willing to learn from your partner. This goes hand in hand with respect.
Don’t Stop Communicating
In addition to being respectful and open, remember the value of communication. Great communication is key to getting past differences and arguments involving most things, including religious views. Running from disagreements or suppressing your opinions won’t help the relationship. This is not a competition or battle to win. Communicating helps the two of you to find common ground and prioritize what really matters. You shouldn’t be expected to compromise your views nor should you expect such from the person you’re with. Open exchanges help you to not only appreciate the similarities but also celebrate the differences.
Good communication is not always about speaking or being heard. It is also about listening. If your relationship is built on love and respect, then listening should already be a part of your relationship. Don’t just listen to respond. Try to hear what your special someone is saying and see where he, she or they are coming from. You may not be as far apart on an issue as you initially thought.
Relationships require work to last. When you and the person you love are of different faiths, there will be some unique challenges. The good news is that these challenges don’t necessarily have to be insurmountable, especially if love, respect and openness are the touchstones of your union.